Retracing This Year 2008

First of all, this year was big year in my life. I plunged into new world which I hadn't experienced to live in.
And then I can't find the answer exactly.

Anyway I want to try to remember special things from the begining of this year 2008.

On January, I broke up with my boyfriend. Between him and me, there were big gap about having a relationship.
But still now I remember the memories with him.

On Feburuary, I'd been to Australia as a volunteer by myself.
This was my big charenge for the first time.
For this event, I worked crazily to save money.
Before I graduated from university, I really wanted to do these things which I might not be able to do.
Everything which I saw, I experienced and I met will be precious for me.

On Murch, finally I graduated from Kansai Gaidai University that I spent for special four years.
I could make many best friends. Really, really, I enjoyed student's life.
I have many friends I haven't seen since then because I moved to Chiba prefecture.
But still some of them gave me a mail or call.
Anyway I really wanna see them!!

On April, I started as a member of society.
At that time I didn't expect any difficulties and one happiness.
From April, for three months, I was really tired of new works that I was not accustomed to do.
I was requested many things. But I think I was lucky to be assigned to Kisarazu shop because they supported me very kindly.

On August, I moved to Futsu shop. To tell the truth I wanted to refuse the written appointment.
And the days which was difficult truly was started. There were many many things that I couldn't do well so I felt big stress and I couldn't get accustomed to the members of Futsu shop.
Moreover, there were no privates. Here is totally countryside. I don't have a car, so it is not easy to enjoy the day off.
I always have to stand loneliness.
But there was one thing happend to make me happy.
Now I believe him, of course on my character, I can't release many worries.
But I got a courage from this words.
" If you believe it is going well, it will be well."
I would like to cherish this happiness that was been falling where I didn't expect at all.

Today is 9th of Decemper.
I will be pretty busy from the end of the year to the New Year.

I GOT!!

I'll behave honestly to myself. I don't wanna lower my true feeling.
Of course, I consider someone's feeling and idea.
Just,,, if he couldn't accept me, my everything, this relationship can not keep forever.
I could believe he would be all right while we spent together maybe about 2 months.

But actually I am getting some big worry about our future. He might not release his feeling to his ex-girlfriend.
Someday, can I be better than her?
I don't know,,,

However, listen!!
He will try to make a time for us. He will reduce the time for part time job.
This is a pretty smal thing, someone will say.
But for me, I can't express this happiness.
I just do my best in order that he thinks he is happy because we are together.

What Do You Cost For The Best?

As you know, I like reasonable staff. I can't pay big money for just one thing. However, as people grow up, especially girls, they start to cost for something. For example, one of my friends likes brand-name goods. She tries to correct them, I mean she buys cosmetics, bags, wallet, even clothes in brand-name.

How can I imagine??

It is a pretty big money. You know,,,, I can't do that.
Recently I'm often asked what I pay for a lot of money. Bag? Shoes? Cosmetics? Clothes? Unnnn, nothing.

Before, I was not ashemed at all to tell that I like reasonable staffs.
But, I became a full time. Gradually, I think, Do I need to step up?

Not yet. I wanna save money. But, to tell the truth, I wanna have good shoes. I love buying shoes and I love to make fashionable cordinate by fashionable shoes.
Now I can say that.

Gradually I cost to myself to be an attractive woman, I hope!!

How Far Can I Do?

Anyway I think I will be honest to myself.
I don't wanna regret. I have friends who laugh, cry and rejoice with me in any case, I'm sure.
I don't wanna think about extra things about him now. If his answer would be no, I will cry so much. But someday the tide of time will set me free.

Okay, time to go!!

how can I stand ??

I miss my friends, my life style,,,everything in my life.

After I wached the last story of "SEX and the CITY", I remembered I had many wonderful friends that I could disburden my truth to, you know.

Carry went to France with her boyfriend. She parted with her job and her life in NY.
But she believed that she would be very happy if she were with him in Paris.
For a while, she got excited about whatever she saw for the first time.

However she really felt it was very difficult not to speak and understand French.
And above all she missed her friends.

Her boyfriend were so busy in preparing for holding an individual show.
She started to think about if that was true love.

Then she noticed she couldn't stop her life with wonderful girls in NY.
And the man who was giving her true love was Mr. Big, she found finally.

The last scene that four girls met again at the usual restaurant made me remember my friends.

Here there are nobody. I miss, I really miss my friends.

shopping with girls, just chating in front of house, having dinner at faschionable restaurant and so on

I'm getting tired of being alone at this sad city.

Win or Loss of Love

In my opinion, women feel true happiness when they are loved.
Men should love women deeply.
Some guys say they always tell their love feelings and keep chaseing women. And they say the forbidden words...I wanna be chased and be loved.

That is not true.
I say by considering from my ecperiences.
By instinct, guys want to love women deeply and make them happy.
For guys, that is true happiness to express their supreme love. If women chase them, they will fall out of love even if they were interested in them once.

On the other hand, women need to stand to express their true feelings to them.
Ir you express or tell it them, at first, they will be happy but they fall out of love near future.
Women's true happiness is to be loved by their lover.

I'm saying haughtily but everything is just my desire, Sorry!!

P.S. I Love You

One day, suddenly she got love letter with no stamp from hasband who was died.
That is the begining for everything.

Holly who lost her hasband couldn't understand her lovely hasband death.
But one day she got letter from his hasband. Then she kept getting letters with no stamp.
These were from Jelly.
With feeling her happiness that she could meet her dearest, Holly is getting back her power for living gradually by beeing supported with friendship and family love.

" I can't say good bye yet."

That was pretty good movie.
Again I knew the importance to find my dearest.

Holly could find the fun in her life as a designer of shooes by his letter.
She would not forget about him but she felt that he left around her when she was totally all right.

I got warmhearted feeling because of this movie.

Will someone love me like Jelly in the future?? lol

Recent Events...

It has been about 7 months since I started to live by myself. Did I grow up as a respectable women? Unnn,,,I don't know.

I felt lonliness that I don't have anyone that I rely on. No family, no frineds.

But as we live, we'll meet many people. So I met many people, but they were just my coworker.
Of course, they were pretty nice, kind and so wonderful. But as you know, I couldn't disburden everything. I thought I should go back home where my best friends were whenever I talked on the phone with my best friends.

However I will not go back home for a while. I remember that I wanna work in foreign country. That is my dream. I'm sure there must be many new things.

People might say that big dream is just big longing. It might be true.

But I remember my best life in Alabama ever. It's precious memory.

To tell the truth, I don't know what to do now. There are no space to think about it or to do something about it because of my busy job.

Mr. Sugitani, who is a photographer that I deoend on, said,
"Is the present job gonna be necessary for your future regardless of that you like it or not?
It is a very important to think about that. I was an assistant with 80,000 yen a mont when I was 20 years old. It was pretty hard.
But I knew that there were no future for me without that way.
It's like a hairdresser with low salary, you know.
If your present life is gonna be necessary for your future, you should do your best!!
If you can't see what is your future, you should do your best until you can see it."

For now I would like to study English to take TOEIC test on January.

Various Way of Our Life

One of my friends, classmates of university, will get married. And next year, I'm not sure but next supring, he will be a father. SUPPRISE!!

I got this info. from mixi so I don't know about details but I guess the trigger of marriage for two is baby. Unnnnnn...well, it's obvious.

But, I really wanna say congratulation to them, I don't know his future wife though. lol

I wanna have small party for him even if he will have wedding ceremony.
Cuz he is a member of 30 which is our class name is first year of university.

I really understand it's gonna be sooooooo difficult to gather member, especially I can't decide my vacation time.

For me, the memory that I spent with 30 members is treasure of my life. After I graduated from university, I felt that seriously. Now few people can make contact but, some people are still keeping in touch with me. From now on, it's hard to make friends like them. Even if they don't sympathize with my feeling I wanna treasure my memories of 30.

In our life, I hope sincerely their happiness and success that they will choose and get by themselves.

Well, anyway congratulation, Shu-kun!!

And thank you, everyone!!

Sweet Home

I had been back my sweet home town, Kyoto!!

I could meet some my best friends, it was not all that I wanted to see though.

I don't know but I just feel free when I was with them. Since I've worked at Kisarazu city, I couldn't be released from my problem, feeling, everything about myself.

Everyone, my frineds, just said come back kyoto. YEEEEA I waana do that!

Before I came here, I thought I would like to independ from my parents. I didn't wanna depend on my family and frineds. But it was wrong.
I could be very comfortable if I could have stayed with them.

I still have a sweet friend that I really want to see. We often talk on the phone though lol

okay change the subject!!

I made a curry. It was pretty nice lol

but this morning, it was pretty bad, taste was so sour.
Guys, be careful with keeping cook during summer!!

I got a pack from my mom yesterday.

a few days ago, I just said on the phone " the cost of food is a little bit high than I expexted." and hen she gave me some food, like easy rice, some can staff and so on.

THANKS!!

but I like cooking. When I have time, I wanna cook. I didn't do before at all, so now I wanna challenge!

of course, I can't cook very well, but I think it is not bad:P

so I like shopping in a supermarket with thinking whta I will make tonight!! lol

well, anyway, yesterday I couldn't stop crying.
she gave me letter and money with packing.

I was suprised cuz I haven't got a letter from my mom seriously.

the thing people can't do anything by themselves
1, Being born without any handicap
2, Being born which parents we have, whch means we have family.
3, Living whitout serious disease and big accident

yes, I am a happy person. Because I have these. Trivial happiness in normal life.
The happiest person is who can find them and can feel happy sencerely, I think.

yesterday everything in work wasn't going well. I noticed that I was really trying to keep back crying with working.

I cryed when I read a message from my mom but after that I could make smile.

today is my off, i will take refresh and from tomorrow I will do my best again!!
まぁ今日はリフレッシュしてまた明日からがんばります☆

Start my free time!!

I will start to go to English school again!!
On day-off, basically, I don't have nothing to do. so I decided.

for us, like members of society, it is very important to make line between on and off.
I thought what I was interested in. ENGLISH!!

I wanna use English. I wanna speak it!!

Considered to before, I can't go there a lot. But maybe I can be refreshed.

I got phone call yesterday from my friend who worked together in UNIQLO last year.
We made a rule to change our feeling on day-off. Don't think about our job.
The point for a member of society is how well make line job day and free day!!

well, I'm interested in cooking also. I can't believe cuz I haven't made cooking before.
But now I feel fun when I cook. I'm not good at it though. lol

well, tomorrow start working again. It is gonna be very busy cuz it's weekend!!

bye now!!

Trying to be a memeber of society

Finally I came back from UNIQLO induction in Yamaguchi. I did it!!!!! and then,,, I am at KISARAZU again.

on 2nd and 3rd, we spent almost all day at gym of company to check our health and proceed for getting employed by UNIQLO.

on ４th, we had a entrance ceremony for a company. I decided to do my best and be a excellent manager after I listened to his message from president Tadashi Yanai. he expected we would be full-fledged as soon as possible. also, we had a lot of chances to talk with people on the top level of UNIQLO. I was moved by their passion for their work.

Tuneita san said she would look forward to see that we would be a manager of shop at convention. I thought I wanted to show it for her as soon as possible.

The thing I should not forget is that Omura san believe me. I will not forget that I thought I wanted to work with him.

and finally, UNIQLO induction started. I learned to order myself on high level.

the thing that UNIQLO requests is to be a manager of shop. Before, I didn't wanna be it but now I wanna be cuz that is basical thing for my career. I wanna promote UNIQLO clothes or another staff all over the world. that is my goal.

So I need to know everything about my company and get various experiences.

I wanna be person who is trusted on by staff, boss and a lot of customer.

I made a rule that I don't determine my end line for my possibilities.

and then, I met many people. This time I wanna introduce KUMI. She is a URC like me and also she is a mother. When she said to me I had a son very naturally in our room, I was so suprised. I thought she was so strong mentally. I'm sure she can work and keep house at the same time. It' s gonna be so hard but she can do it cuz she has experiences that she got better of hard things in her life.
and above all, her love for Ryu kun make her strong.

I hope I can work with her. Both of us hope work at foreign country. hey, she speak english very well cuz she had lived in Holland for ten years.

I could meet great member of ４４９ which is the last shop that I worked. I really felt relax when I was with them. The member of ＵＲＣ are also good but I can't show myself.

Now we will start to work various places, Kyoto, Osaka, Hiroshima, Hyogo, Kisarazu, but I believe we are great team.

The last class I got the letter from Hijikata manager, who is my first boss. of course, everyone got the letter their boss. I couldn't stop crying in the class room after I read it. I was really glad cuz I didn't expect at all. She said she was waiting for me at Kisarazu.

now I don't have the person who I can rely on. maybe she will be for me.

From day after tomorrow, I will work. I don't wanna give up!

I will pass the test to be a manager on July ４th. I know that is so high goal but I believe myself.